Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Enter the Domain

iamstiver.com is officially back, rejoice!

Off the heels of some very interesting and amazing news I've been motivated to grab my old domain and get the band back together. In the name of geek, and also maybe art. Also, I may have had a few drinks.

More details will be showing up within the month along with some ideas I have for making this site somewhat relevant again. Perhaps if you've been following, or even read the last few posts you'll notice my complete lack of stability or overall follow through. My ambitions are like shattered pieces of glass spread across a sticky floor. (Which isn't too far from how my kitchen floor is currently thanks to an incident with bacon and a light bulb...don't ask) Sweeping these pieces into one place is fruitless and tiresome, so instead I've spent the last few months carefully pinching each shard and placing them with precision into something I can actually use. I'm a fan of big pictures, not so much the details to get there, so it's been a big deal getting here.

Health. Geek culture. Why my cat is a jerk. Finding adventure.

These are the voyages of the Starship Stiver.

January 1st I'll be realizing the dream, or micro dreams really, and thus begins a journey for conquering all things of Stiver soul fulfillment. I have no idea what to call it or how to explain fully, so it's a good thing I have about a month, eh?
First and foremost I'll talk a little about the super geeky project...

We have a director/filmmaker who will be working with us, 'us' being a cast of some of the most absurd people I am proud to call friends. We'll be playing a tabletop RPG (like or perhaps specifically D&D), and it will be presented in a way that's not unlike a reality show or documentary. Podcasts, complimentary videos, posts, umm...things... will be happening. The details, which again I'm really bad at paying attention to, will be changing but the overall project is green-lit and will most definitely be happening. When? You'll have to stay tuned. We're too invested to turn away now. But we're talking months away, not years.

The content of this blog will see something of a revolution. I have every intention of making this a steady workflow.

So come back. I missed you baby. I changed. Promises.
Prepare for Stiverization.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Secret Geek Project

I'll be honest. No. I'll be internet honest. I mean, you're not my best friend so don't be so demanding.

Keeping a health blog just doesn't work for me anymore. When I look back all I see is me posting a picture, looking somewhat like a egotistical douche, talking about how I either ate well or didn't. Churning the same lines out causes distress and as a creative soul I just cannot keep motivated through the entire process.

Besides, a health blog from a geek is fucking boring right?

Thankfully a few people didn't see it that way considering I had the distinct pleasure of appearing on this podcast not too long ago. (There's absolutely no proof that my arrival on the podcast broke their ability to make more podcasts...) Keep up with those guys, I hear they'll be reinventing themselves for your nerd-fit entertainment soon.

Point being I've been asked to be apart of something that has captured my artistic interest. At this point it's a secret, but in the meantime I'll be taking a look at this blog and actually doing things on twitter, maybe even pointing people to instagram.

Should be exciting, and I can't wait to talk about more than just how many snickers bar I ate in a day.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Blah blah blah. Something something. Health.

Why yes. I did slip you a ruffie. 
Starting Weight: 188
Current Weight: 184
Goal Weight: 170

Actual weight loss has started despite a global unified effort to drag me down. I forget the adventure and willpower involved when attempting to be healthier. I braved Food Truck Thursday, did not dodge punk and drunk slider night, there was a blueberry muffin incident, a spaghetti wedding planning/gossip dinner (and yes we did talk about you.), cheesecake pancake offerings, and a pair of nights where I craved (to the point of pain) a giant cheesy bacon omelet at 2am.

Generally these situations aren't matters that even register, I either eat or don't eat what I want and the stress level involved is ultimately negotiable. I happen to eat better these days and pre-Hot for Con 2013 workout routine was usually enough to keep me out of danger, but not my much. It's when you're trying that people and events magically crop up to chase you back into the fat cave. (I wont go back, not without a cape and a signal). The amount of which I give in is my secret, but I'll admit more red stars than golden ones. Red equals bad right? We'll go with yes.

Avoiding poor food choices and portion control is the center to all weight-loss efforts. Honestly though, you should decide how healthy you want to be and that's just what you do now. Want to remain skinny despite the failing metabolism of old age? Then eat better and workout, forever. I'll say that losing weight and maintaining a body that you find attractive is easier once you accept that this your long haul lifestyle. 

Alright, I'm done lecturing myself. 

The point here is that I'm constantly evolving my perspective of realistic healthy lifestyle choices. So there. Blog post done.

Notice I didn't talk about smoking? Good, that's why I like you, you're not rude won't bring that shit up. 

Monday, May 27, 2013

Hot for Con 2013: Day 1 - Cue the Montage.

Use 'I dunno' hands when taking awful selfies. 
Current weight: 188
Goal weight: 170

In case you're unsure what's going on, you should read this.

Actually you should have read this first, and while you're there you should give this guy all your love and money.

Let me start by saying I want to eat the entire universe. Attempting to quit smoking while also losing weight is the worst idea I've ever had. Ranks up there with my Parkway Jane and Virginia Vagina stories. It's only been something like 12 hours, so yes I'm being a bit dramatic and whiny, but it's my blog and I've had more coffee than I'm willing to admit so lets just move on. Maybe it'll make me stronger in the end and if this actually works I deserve some kind of first world problem, nobody really cares... but here have it anyways award. 

Procrastination is a terrible mistress who isn't very attractive and often leaves her things lying about, and not the sexy undergarment kind of things, more like smelly socks and those terrifying eyelash curler contraptions. My weight gain/loss has been anything but stable (actually shooting up 8 pounds in the last month), the amount of time I spend exercising depends completely on how 'full' the gym parking lot looks, and the "I'll quit smoking next week!" quote sings like a chorus to a song my friends beg me to stop blaring in the car every time we hang out. 

So day 1 of Hot for Con 2013 has officially kicked off. No more Procrastination, I kicked her out and in her fury she took the end tables while muttering something about overdue netflix bills. Still worth it.
The Batmo-ped

It's been a good day so far. Had breakfast with friends, rode my Batmo-ped to the gym and now I'm sitting here at work, on Memorial day, typing out this post while you're likely having some kind of cook out/bikini contest.

Actually. Fuck off. I'm going to have another apple and yell at something.


Sunday, May 26, 2013

Passing the Hot for Con Torch

I'm constantly inspired by my friends and sometimes it feels like Adam Jones's entire life purpose is either to inspire, or make make me jealous. Or he provides charts using  complex formulas depicting just how wrong I'm doing everything. 

But he is on a weight loss warpath and has officially taken the Hot for Con torch for 2013. His success is unavoidable and his methods are built with a precision that scientist should consider calibrating instruments with. Had I employed half the methods he's using my success a few years ago would've been much easier. Instead he's like a battle hardened warrior bathed in the blood of his enemies and laughing maniacally at the next challenger. While I was more like the that guy playing the flute, perpetually scanning the battlefield for a trench in which to hide so those guys with the sharp pointy weapons wont get me.

I've tried counseling him but he'd already reverse engineered my tactics and invented his own, so I'm left just waving around pom poms and muttering 'you can do it'. I'm not a fan of the sideline, or how bunchy those cheerleader shorts get, so I'm going to do stuff as well. Healthy stuff. And blog about it. This way he won't be alone in his journey and I won't feel like doing cartwheels or watching eerily addictive how-to makeup videos.

Here lay my 2013 Hot for Con goals. Which starts tomorrow. (Expect a shaky Day 1 post)
  • Quit smoking. 
  • Obtain a goal weight of 170. 
  • No (heavy) drinking until Con.

Quit Smoking

I've battled this throughout the years with varied degrees of success. I started when I was 22 (roughly), for completely idiotic reasons and, save for a few years, I've been a pack a day smoker for a decade.  It makes no sense that I'm in the best shape of my life, walk out of a gym, and light up a cigarette to celebrate my clearly positive lifestyle choices. I've been getting ready for Day 1 (5/27) for the last few weeks. Switching to American Spirits and cutting down to half a pack a day. But tomorrow I'll take the cold turkey leap, and this time when I get frustrated, I'll just take a shot of water and blog about how terrible life is in a first world country.

Goal weight of 170

Were it not for my strict (or laughably malleable) exercise regiment I'm pretty sure I'd be right back to fatboy status. Eating out every night gets expensive, and working it off on a treadmill quickly becomes a never ending debt of destroying your body to make ends meet. In the past my motivations were purely selfish and embodied all the vain and vindictive elements of humanity. I wanted to be hot, wanted my exes to shiver with regret and jealousy, wanted all those girls I'd stalked to wave me over and offer me a seat on the train to boob town. This path will no longer work for me because...
  • Hot is subjective. Personality, timing, being funny, having tall genes, a life perspective that runs parallel with someone else; these are the qualities that decide sexy time attention. While you spend 2 hours a day in a gym getting ripped and frustrated that they're not calling, some tall shapely bastard is taking your desired lady to the park and showing her subpar magic tricks and reminiscing about the last episode of Arrested Development, or some bullshit. Weight and muscles do not equal hot, it's the sum of all parts. (Along with that unique ability of impressing while legitimately not trying to impress.)
  • My exes are amazing women. Most of which I'm friends with and I marvel constantly at how better off they are without me, and genuinely happy with the paths they're taking. We dated and broke up for a reason right? They're busy being awesome and these days I'd rather not inject my signature awkward poison into their system. Wouldn't work anyways, they're immune. Tough ladies, every last one of them.
  • My aim is to recruit stalkers. So the idea of stalking is intellectually bankrupt. Besides, the stalker to lady relationship always ends in the friend zone, or in the back of a squad car. 
Quit Drinking (so much)

Pretty simple here. I'm leaps and bounds better than two years ago, and the last few weeks I've even waved away drinks in favor of coffee. A trend I hope to continue. Also, I've become someone who enjoys the actual craft behind alcohol, and at a certain point drenching yourself in booze is an act that takes away from the delicious and spiritual feeling a finely made drink can bring. There's also the fact that I'm no longer a fun drunk, just weird and unable to follow conversation. There's a disconnect between my point and how it comes across, a movement that has washed away potentially amazing friendships. Some are repairable, I hope, but such things take time and require a reconstruction of trust. 

Alright. I'm done with the preamble, Day 1 starts tomorrow. Wish me luck.